This year and especially this month I’m leaning heavily into the practice of self love on the most basic levels, nothing fancy, just paying attention to my needs. I think we all know we need to make time for self care and loving ourselves yet often we don’t know how to do it.

So how do we let love in, how do you let yourself in? So many of us aren’t comfortable trusting, allowing in positive, kind, loving words. So often life experiences leave us feeling unworthy, undeserving of the love that is offered us. We tell ourselves we need to earn it. To do something for it. Yet the truth is, receiving is our birthright. Being loved and loving ourselves is our birthright. Trusting in the good, the kind, the sweetness in life is our birthright and if we can find ways to do that, it will radically change our lives.

Yet offering ourselves love, forgiveness, grace, acceptance can be really challenging. I think learning to receive ourselves in these ways is one of the hardest things we learn to do and learning to do it takes time. It’s a practice. So what does it mean to really care for and love ourselves? How do we offer ourselves acceptance?

Learning to embrace who we are, how we are, why we are can at times be tricky. We work so hard to keep certain parts of ourselves buried, far from view. Yet the truth is, they are a part of you, so what if you let them in? What if you offered those aspects you’ve deemed unloveable love? By allowing space for the discomfort of those difficult parts of self we actually make more room for love in our lives. More ease, more peace.

The stress of 2020 lingers leaving us tired, anxious and emotional as we move into 2021. So though we have more awareness of what truly matters, there are still a lot of unknown transitions happening. We are in an emotionally charged time. There is a collective grief within our individual challenges. In addition to that I find that especially in the winter months people tend to feel sad or have lower energy. The shorter days, less light, cold temps can add another layer of feeling alone. Yet perhaps this is exactly the right season to let yourself in and receive the love that is here for you, for all of us.

This takes practice. Self love, self care, it takes dedication. It takes curiosity and compassion to explore why we are in fact enough, why we are worthy. So lets practice. practice creates ritual so lets ritualize self love.

IDEAS TO CREATE YOUR PRACTICE: Create an altar - this provides us with a physical reminder that we are love. Think of it as a living prayer in your home. For this ritual I like to gather items for each element (water, fire, air, earth) that represent all the yumminess of love.

Ideas for the elements:
Water:
rose tea
essential oils to dap on my wrists

Fire:
candles
things that are the color red

Air:
diffusing oils
misting rose water spray
a sound bowl
feathers

Earth:
hand-written notes of love and affirmation
dark chocolate - invites in sweetness
comfy floor pillow for meditation - allowing yourself the comfort and softness you need

tarot or oracle cards - draw a card to ask how you can deepen your relationship to self

crystals — aragonite (grounding and supportive of embracing the unknown), rose quartz (heals heartache and opens us up for more love and compassion) garnet ( stabilizing, invites in passion and creativity)

weekly soaks - another way to cherish yourself is to care for your body. soaking in epsom salts and essential oils while listening to music is a great way to be held in ease. if you can begin your day with a morning bath!

journaling - taking time even just 5 minutes to connect to your past self, the one who saw where these outdated beliefs began. some prompts could be:
where can I make more room for love in my life?
what did my past self need to hear, to know, to feel?
where am I bringing that to myself now?

gratitude practice - each morning upon waking or each night before you sleep simply recall (and even say outlaid) the things in you day that you were grateful for. this could be the delicious coffee you had, a chat with a friend, love from your pet, blue skies….

change your space - move your throw pillows from one room to another, bring in a different blanket, pull out your favorite picture books or novels. pick up some fresh flowers, put some markers and paper, or sticky notes out to let yourself be creative.

self care dish - pull out a favorite bowl and fill it with lip gloss, dental floss, hand lotion, eye moisturizer, an oil you love, a balm for your feet, nail file and polish, a sweet treat.

painting, dancing, stretching, walking outside - all bring you into your body which is where love lives.

I hope you find these ideas helpful as you make more time to meet yourself where you are. I’m wishing you the knowingness of your brilliance as you find ways to love yourself up.